The interpretation I was taught as a child was that God was angry with them because people wanted to replicate or replace God by building a tower to the heavens. I see something a little different. But first, let’s go back to humans all speaking the same language.
I watched a viral Oprah video about the singer Priscilla Dunstan who wrote a book that proposed five sounds that babies from all over the world use to communicate. And I wondered if that was the original human language?
In The Permission to Exist, I hypothesize that babies are all born with an internal yes and no. When a caregiver understands and honors their responses, in turn, it would build self-esteem and a concept of their internal self.
Fundamentally, deep inside us is the desire to be understood. For a moment I wondered if language was a disease because it was used to “scatter” or divide us. But I don’t think language causes harm; instead, it’s the loss of recognizing an inner language when we learn our first words. Or when our cries are dismissed for the collective good, or consensus. When our inner language is denied often enough, we stop trusting it, and it becomes, well, babble.
What if, within us all, is the ability for individuation, by recognizing our internal yes and no?
Individuation is the process of becoming a distinct person with your own identity, values, feelings, and sense of direction. It involves recognizing what comes from your own experience and what you have absorbed from family, relationships, and society, then developing a more conscious relationship with those influences.
When we act on what is authentic to us, when it will not harm us or others, and still recognize that authenticity without acting on it when it could hurt us or others, we become people who honor the self within us.
When I am with people who raise their voice at me, that is a no, so I speak up for myself or walk away. When I have worked all day, and my heart is heavy, I think about painting, and it is a yes, so I paint. Or when I love someone, but they need their space, I recognize within me that it is a yes to contact them, but for them it is a no, so I tell myself, it’s ok to love them from here. I am honoring my yes and no, and those around me too.
Then what would happen if a community of these people existed? People who honored their neighbors’, friends’, and family’s yes and no?
That’s when I remembered the Tower of Babel. What if their idea was to build a community that didn’t need a god for protection or power, because the power lived inside their yes and no, inside the honor and the self-respect it brings while being authentic? And the tower into the heavens was the level of consciousness that authentic individuals, building a community together, would create?
What if their language was easy to scatter because they weren’t conscious of other alternatives? Meaning they had always lived one way, and another way was introduced. What if the power to stick together comes from conscious choice?
Living authentically is easier when people around you are doing the same. Sometimes it’s just being aware of choosing your own response every time, and honoring others when they choose their own.
If you are ready to listen to your inner yes and no but are struggling to hear it, I offer Integrative Neural Repatterning to help you translate the babble into meaning that can support your self-esteem and your connection to yourself. Book here.